Breaking bad news

How not to break bad news!
from family guy- sorry for the poor quality of the first video, the second one was three girls messing about- which was funny nevertheless.

Vacuum

Yesterday one of my flatmates vacuumed her room. And the kitchen. Then I heard her cleaning her bathroom and tidying up her room. I thought then, what's happening here? She rarely does these kind of things. (Anyway, sorry flatmate if you're reading this- I wont want to go into your room normally)

Something brewing....

And I was right. Today she had few visitors. GOTCHA!

Things I'm into Right Now

i) Interior design- i've been visiting design websites/blogspots and the likes every single day. more than i should anyway- just for ogling over the gorgeous pictures- which will then lead to countless hours of daydreaming of how MY house will look like.

ii) Fashion blogs- wth? as if they have anythg to do with me. that's where everyone gets it wrong- i love dressing up, i'm just lazy to make the effort. gimme theme party anyday! going to hospital may be like going to an event- yeah- bring out those sexy, super-tight pencil skirts.

iii) Edward Cullen. I dont even want to start.

iv) Edward Cullen should be at number one of this list btw. I love him more than life itself- at least for the pre- and post-sleep periods where I truly believe that I'm in his arms. (Hypnopompic and hypnogogic hallucinations for you medics out there!)

v) Shopping? wait- no- thats a chronic obsession since like forever.

vi) Chatting on yahoo messenger with my dad AND my mom. I'm not kidding. The last time I chatted to my dad, he asked whether its alright for him to find a husband for me. OK was my answer, can you believe it!

vii) Revision: like of course. *&^%$#^&%$$$@!((@&#^%

**disclaimer: if i have extra time on my hands, i'll probably elaborate more on each of the subject matter. damn it decorno.blogspot.com- leave me alone!!!!!!!! (its like watching porn for interior design- seriously- give me tingle in the silly place.***

Songs

Mission: to listen to iPod on shuffle mode for two hours and write down short note for songs that bring back memories. (Editor's Note: this is a mission set by p53 herself, hey get back to revision!!)

Emotion- Destiny's Child
Haha, this song brought back a funny memory actually. I caught my uncle (yeah right.... my macho uncle) singing this song while he washing his car. Anyway, its a nice song.

Canon in D minor- Pachebel
When I was in Prague, I attended a string quartet performance in a renovated chapel. Beautiful song- almost surreal when listen to in a live performance.

Its raining men- The weather girls
I remember battling this song on PS3 with Big City's BFF. Serious matter! We sang our heart out to be crowned as 'superstar' (aka expert level), ignoring all the audience (which grew in number without me realizing it- we sang at a flat of 7 boys- whooo-hooo)

Family Guy

Officially my current fav cartoon/comedy show. Highly recommended for watching during dinner + perfect excuse to loosen up after a full day at hospital.

Let me introduce the ppl in "Family Guy"

The Family: 

Peter:

Stewie:

Quagmire:

Paedophile:

~ * ~ * ~

More detailed explanation about the characters in future entries, promise!

Moon

For the last few weeks, my friends (other final yr medics) and I have been attending afternoon revision sessions that usually finish at around 7pm-ish... which is very late considering that there are days that we have to been in hospital at around 8am and also the fact that dusk is around 4pm.

Well anyway, coming back from one of the revision session the other day, I was walking with another 6 friends toward the bus stop. It was damn cold, wet night. 

Friend A: Look at that moon.

All: waaaaaa

Friend B: Sooo pretty!!!

Me: Halo around it, phwaoah!

Friend C: Looks like Kayser-Fleischer Rings.

All: Sheesshh.

You know when you start making medic joke, then, thats when you revise too much!

Alex- the winner of Xfactor 2008

Quick update:

Alexandra Burke won the 2008 X-Factor. YEAHHHHH!

She deserves it really. She has such strong voice.

All songs that she sang tonight were super amazing (not to mention the fantastic duet with Beyonce.. whoop, whoop)

PS: I'll upload her winning performance soon. Watch the space.

PPS: THANK GOD Eoghann didnt win. NYAH.nyah.

Train

Have you ever stood right next to the rail at train station when a fast train is passing?

If yes: How does it feel like?

If no: Go to a small train station where most fast trains just pass by without stopping.

I swear to God, it does feel surreal. The train is fast as hell (65-70mph). You'll never realized how fast it goes until you're standing at the aforementioned spot.

(Editor's note: why such random entry p53?)

Gossip Girl Update

I just finished watching Episode 10 Season 2 of Gossip Girl, in fact I just finished catching up on the latest 6(!) episodes of Gossip Girl. 

I love Blair.

(Previously I have always like S more than B.)

In this episode, Blair's mom is dating a new guy. He's not exactly a hearthrob. He's the opposite, physically. When this guy came to meet her for the first time, she was so shocked to see this guy's appearance. He's hideous.

Blair: I'm Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly's me. 

(This is a mantra she repeated to herself to keep her cool although he is blatantly annoying).

I think I'm gonna practice that when dealing with people that annoys me.

PS: Chuck Bass is a legend.

Weekend

I am convinced that I have African Sleeping Sickness. 

All weekend I was sleepy.

 

Then my BFF pointed out to me that i) I'm not an African, ii) I've never been to Africa and iii) I'm always like that- so this sleepiness bouts are not entirely new.

I slept alot. 

On Saturday, I only wake up because I had an avoidable errand to run.

On Sunday, I stayed in bed for my hours- blinking my eyes and day-dreaming (9am-11.45am) until HM#1 came into my room (at 11.45am) asking me whether I was still up for revision at 12noon. And I said to her (from beneath the duvet): But it's not 12 yet. 

Yet I'm still tired. 

Differentials anyone?

To anatomy body donors (in heaven)

I would have too. 

Source: postsecret.blogspot.com

The Gaudi Key

I started reading this book entitled "The Gaudi Key" few days ago and it is seriously a page turner. The story-line and the pace of the story is pretty damn good so I find that my conscious mind is ridden with guilt whenever I sacrifice my sleep time (gosh, what the hell is going on) or reading time (ever so slightly) to continue reading just another page (which usually turns into a chapter).

Its the story about Gaudi (the famous Antonio Gaudi of Barcelona, yes youre right), the legendary architect and stories surrounding his death. Basically- as the book says- he was a member of the secret knight who protect the relics of Christ and the anti-Christ group murdered him. The story now unfolds as the protegee of Gaudi's protegee try to race against the time to save the relic from falling into the hands of the antiChrist group. Many mysteries solving and riddles and factual maths and detectives' investigation- so this book is like the da vinci code almost.

The Gaudi Key is actually a translated fiction novel. I am never a fan of translated works. But gosh- this one really grab my attention. Co-written by two authors, I think they did quite an awesome job in telling me (and million other readers) the story. 

I hope the ending is not gonna be a let down (I'm half way through). And I truly hope that there will be some great twists (there was one already right at the very beginning). Come one, join me read the book.

Since I dont know what was the real story with Gaudi, his life, his works (la sagrada familia among others), I dont know which part of this book is real and which part is fiction. Well, I'll ask someone later (M- that's you). 

The bottomline is I will never look at Gaudi's work in the similar way anymore.

Being mom

I have a best friend and so happy for her that finally she's in the dating world. She went for her first date ever* (like ever, ever- she's 22 now) just a few days ago. Bless. 

BFF and me coached her a bit the night before. What to say, what to wear, ways to laugh, what to order, what topics to avoid. We must have been more excited than the girl herself. Bless.

The afternoon that I sent her off at the door, wishing her well, I seriously felt like I'm a mother sending her daughter for her first date. Bless.

With the supernatural power that I have, I predict that my best friend will marry him comes summer. And I will also cast spells so this will happen before I go back to my own lovely country for good post graduation. I will bloody make sure that they fall in love with other deeply (let me think of a suitable potion for this, a-ha, I think I have that very right one). Bless.

Anyway, back to this world: **recent update- post date** Things are looking good between them two. Bless.

*When was the first time YOU go for a date??

I kissed a girl and I like it....

DUDUDUDU...

Yes i had, not recently though.

(someone asked me about it the other day)

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

But I kissed boys and I liked them more.

PS: Hi future husband, sorry about this. 

Updates

Apologies for the apparent hiatus   from the blog (only 4 entries in NOV???!! what??!!). I can give excuses (like thousands of them) but I dont want to. Its just plain lazy/buzy.

As per today, its exactly 6 weeks to my FINALS. FINALS of medicine. That's why I've been rather oocupied. 

You guys will be glad to know that I do revise. Although the rate is not promising, I'd say suffice. Tbh knowledge-wise, its still all over the place. Help me God. Heavily relying on my wittiness/prettiness (haha!)/prayers from my parents. Like seriously.

Starting from today, I'll try to put up entries unrelated to FINALS (dont fear the F word, gosh- im still in denial). 

Of course

Thanks to God, I'm ALLright now. Healthy bunny. The flu-like illness that I had for the last three weeks has now settled. Last week was the worst. I actually had rigors. Rigors like rigors should be: shaking the bed and all. Madness I tell you. Never in my life I experience such thing, so of course I was so upset (the hypochondriac in me more like it) thinking that it was actually the end of world. Thinking that I was about to die. That was on Thursday of last week.

I came back from my GP practice (having sitting in consultation with my GP tutor- which was fine at the time, until I had my lunch and couldnt eat- which was out of the norm for me- like completely- then the rigors started) feeling very dreadful and shaking (with teeth clattering of course) all my way on the train. 

Then, I decided (one of my wisest move that day) to text HM#1, plaeding her to pcik me up from the train station as i felt as is I was about to pass out. 

Can.not.walk.back.home.feeling.so.fucking.cold.like.i.was.about.to.freeze.to.death.

Stepping into her car, she asked one question: Are you alright?

And the gate gave away. Tear gate thats it. The feeling was just so overwhelming- I felt so awful, so tired, so shaky, so pissed-off, so ill, so depressed, so dead, so cold. I just sat there at the back seat and cried. Like a baby. Talking baby. (Ranting about how stupid my GP -my actually GP's gp- my own doctors as I couldnt get any urgent appointment- hello- I'm dying here!!)

She was used to it though (me crying, not me being unwell). There was BFF too in the car. And that of course only lower down the threshold for emotional outpouring. They were concerned of course. For the facts that i) I looked very unwell ii) I cried without inhibitation iii) I kept on cursing with alot of the F words.

Primary Care Trust (Out of Hours) service was contacted. Appointment was booked two hours later. Hot soup was consumed while waiting. I was triaged (nurse) and examined (by doctor of course). Antibiotic was prescribed. Chemist was visited, prescription was obtained. First dose of Abx was taken. Dinner and was put to bed by HM#1.

End of drama.

All this while (last three weeks) I've been having headache that worsen when waking up from sleep in the morning/coughing/sneezing/bending down. I was convinced that I MUST have some sort space occupying lesion as that kind of headache is characteristic of raised intracranial pressure. Or at least my hypochhondria alter-ego thought that.

Coryzal symptoms tied up with headache, the diagnosis given by the doctor was: sinusitis. I was like: really? sure it is not something more serious? I'm septic already!

Temp: 38.9c and RR 18bpm and pulse 110bpm. 

Thats classified as SIRS (systemic inflammatory response sndrome).

"Alter ego: I'm dying here. Im dying here, helllllllooooo...."

Duh, give it a try. 

The next day I felt much much much better. Like magic I woke up that morning (Friday) without headache and temp. Id been having headache for the longest time, I actually forgotten how does it feels to NOT have headache. Feels good, let me tell you that.

Friday went by so quickly. Drowsy from the lemsip. 

So did the weekend.

This week I feel much better. There is actually bounce in my walk. I skip while I walk when I'm happy. I start singing again. And humming to tunes. Making small talks that I was too uninterested to make before with the staff of the GP practice I am at right now (gosh- they must think that I'm a snobbish asian girl who simply dont talk to other member of staff apart from doctors). I wake up in the morning, looking forward to things that lay ahead of me that day (as opposed to cursing of course). I wake up without headache (I know, i mentioned it already- but this is a very important point). I find it nice to receive phone calls from friends (as opposed to feeling dreadful having to put up an upbeat tone or declining the calls). I watch ANTM and Gossip girls. I start gossiping and going shopping again. I start to like my crushes again. 

I'm almost normal.

Yeah.

Of course, thanks to GOD.

*Of course, the title of this entry: count the no# of times that I said that phrase. 

Series of unfortunate events

As we all know, I'm doing my community placement in a little town (smaller than SmallCity). I like the GP practice but I absolutely hate the commuting bit.

Today, the weather was really cold (4-5degree) despite the day being sunny. Arriving at the SmallCity train station I decided to get a taxi, because I dont wanna walk back to my hall. I couldn't even imagine how much worse the coughing would be like if I walk in cold temperature like this. (Editor's note: p53 is a known asthmatic- however, the last time she had an asthma attack was close to 8 years ago- so she's putting it all down to the viral infection that she has)

p53 (went to a taxi)

Taxi driver-TD (summon me to get into his taxi)

p53: can I get to ******** Street?

TD: you can walk there- why do you want to get a taxi there?

p53: its too cold, I dont feel like walking.

TD: waste of my time only. (pulling out of the taxis driveway)

And with that I felt: wth? I was so tired to rebut what he just said. But certainly couldnt believe my luck. What a shiiiteee day!

(Arriving at my hall) TD: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Its just around the corner, you know.

Oh, come on- drop it. I paid 2pound for the 2 mins journey. He looked damn annoyed, but I have the last say: Customer is always right.

GP land

GP land so far has been very tiring but entertaining. 

At the beginning, I started with apprehension thinking that its all gonna be damn ol boring depressive patients. And common cough and cold. Plus the fact that I have to travel to an even smaller town for it (40min door to door journey).

I was right to some extend. Many patients like that. However, I've seen interesting cases. For example: barotrauma post scuba-diving, meningioma and palpitations that turned out to be an ectopic case.  

One of the GPs is an absolute bonker! I love him (just like how I love my BIGPROJECT's tutor). He (now will be called- THE GP) is a type of person who will put minimal possible effort to get by and hates patients who come in with nitty gritty problems. 

Quotes so far:

Patient #1: I think its the bugs that've been around. I bet you have a lot of patients with it.

THE GP: Hmmm... not a lot... only like hundreds each day.

Me: Is it alright if I go out through the back door? 

THE GP: Yup sure, because if you try to go through the front one, you'll find it impossible to do so. I've locked it. 

Then, there is another GP whom I like very much. He's so nice. When I found myself with a non-functioning otoscope and surgery list of multiple ear problems, I frantically went searching for a replacement.

GP: You can use my otoscope.

Me: But then what if you need it later?

GP: Its alright, I'll use yours.

Me: But its NOT working.

GP: (big smile + wink) I'll pretend that it is. Patients wont know any difference.

Wish me well

I am very ill. So please do wish me well.
Yesterday, I didn't go in at all. In fact on Thursday (the day before yesterday), I skipped the afternoon half because of this constant headache I had.

On Friday morning, I went to the skill lab to practice some skills. OMFG- how tedious and how I just couldn't concentrate. Then I said to HM#1 (who I love dearly) that I wanted to have some hot soup. Off we went to a small village cafe about half an hour drive from the base hospital.

Back home afterwards, I had some Paramax (Paracetamol + Metaclopramide). Yeah- that was how unwell I was. Nauseous for no apparent reason. Unless you guys want to consider intracranial problem. No, lets not go down that route.

I slept very early (not a surprise, I know) and I was very crossed with myself for missing Little Britain USA. Again.

Hence, that's why I'm up very early on weekend (big no-no in my life). Cross my fingers and hope that something good will happen today.

If I know how to do magic

I'll go a beach RIGHT NOW.

I'll be in a hammock illuminated by flickers of light from a small fire, drinking chilled cocktail, looking at the stars.

But, as I dont know how to... might as well go to die!

Nauseous

You see the smile that's on my mouth,

Its hiding the words that don't come out,

All of the friends who think that I'm blessed,

They don't know I'm in this mess.

Lately I've been worrying myself sick with stuff. Important stuff that will have major implication on my future. Never in my life that I've been this restless thinking about something and very unsettled regarding it. For the first time, I am uncertain as to what to do. 

I'm so confused.

At the moment I am slightly depressed, which no amount of chocolate/wine/kiss* could make it right. 

If I am another person looking at me right now, I'll feel nauseous.

*Delete as necessary.

PS: Quote from The Story- Brandi Carlile

Who wear what?

This is me. Really. In my traditional dress. I luv it! Oh how I wish I can celebrate Eid with my family. Celebrating with friends is great nonetheless.

This is me (blue-faced) and my cute friend (green-faced). That particular day we dressed as the gossip girls. ala blair- hence the ruffles and the pencil skirt.

Haaha... sorry for such vain entry. I need to show the outfits! Gorgeous!!!

Its scareyyyyyy...

i) that exam is in less than 3 months and I have done absolutely nothing.

ii) that I am always tired without any known or diagnosed pathology. 

iii) that there is a possibility that I may have cancer and not know it.

iv) how agitated a patient with a real active stroke presents.

v) to even imagine that i'll never find my true love. 

vi) to wake up from sleep but unable to move any limb.

vii) to know all MY family history.

Pictures

again...

THIS IS HOW I WOULD DRESS (if i could).
I heart the simple crossed halter on the far right.
I'm certainly digging the hair.
Thanks Jasmine di Milo.

This super wonderful collage was taken from here
I love this blog, so please do check it out.

Photolog

I wanted to have Italian food for dinner for quite some time now. So Italian food I cooked. I have no idea why all the pictures of these gorgeous food turned out to be with severe yellow tint, but nevertheless, do imagine the excitement of having them. Glorious!!!

For starter: Melanzana alla Parmiagiana (Aubergine with vege in tomato sauce + cheese topping)  and Goat cheese stuffed pepper with breadcrumbs served with caramelised balsamic vinegar (oh- how very mouth watering). 

For main: Tagliatelle with chicken in mushroom and cheese sauce

For desserts: Profiteroles

All the food had been inspired by recent dinner outings. The recipes that I found on the internet dont make sense, so HM#1 and me decided to make it up along the way. And I was dead chuffed when they all turn out so delicious. Goat cheese stuffed pepper is very simple to prepare: cut the long pepper into half, stuff with cheese, sprinkle with breadcrumbs, bake for 10 mins and serve with caramelised balsamic vinegar. It has strong taste and smell to it. I luv it (in the words of cheryl cole). The profiteroles were from a supermarket though, although if needs be (with a lot of time at hands), HM#1 can prepare it from scratch.

I wore this whole assemble to hospital the other day. One of the plastic surgeon registars said and I quote: "You look like you just stepped out from London Fashion Week". Seriously she said that!!! I was of course very delighted and I think that it was the nicest compliment ever given to me. She added "Everything is so stylish, the little flowers on your watch, the steth in back pocket, wait- thats a jean? ooOoOo. Nice". LAlalalalLala. Ultimate achievement. So for the benefit of this blog readers, let me present: the details of the outfit.

The bag, the watch, handmade (by me) necklace, the shoes and the jeans.

Remember I wrote an entry previously about Ceilidh dance, here a picture form the dance. Note the kilt and the metal piece (dont know what it is called) of my dancing partner. He's a lovely guy from the year below.

What's on TV?

*** These are all personal opinion. If you disagree, well, tough. My blog my say.***

i) It sucks that Clarke was eliminated last week from ANTM Cycle 11. Really. She's really stunning even though she behaves like a proper bitch at times. The week before she had this amazingly gorgeous eyes shoot that I totally swooned for. She won then, but I guess the arrogant nature of Clarke got the better of her. Joselyn is weird esp her laugh. Her features are not so striking and last week she performed badly doing the disaster-themed shoot, its a miracle that the judges chose her over Clarke. Then one of my flatmates raised a very important point that I had overlooked: ANTM's judges cant really kicked her out because otherwise the show wont have anymore black (or should I say- African American, no offense for the previous choice of word) people in it. Ooohh... I didnt realized that. Well- that's really unfair for Clarke- she really is gorgeous and I think Joselyn wont last long. Promise!

Tyra (to Joselyn): we are giving you another chance because of your personality.

p53 (to Tyra): personality- my ass- what a lot of rubbish.

ii) It was again another episode of nail-biting and nerve wrecking episode of X-FACTOR. Top three of each group were chosen, and to be honest I didnt care a shit about any group other than the girls. All bar one was damn good. Too bad that Cheryl Cole got the girls, they are better of under Simon. I really didnt expect Hannah to be that good. Today, she was nothing short of perfect. And after reviewing (read: you-tube watching) her previous performances, she had been really consistent all through out. Her voice has got this rocky-husky edge to it and she delivered. Man, I was so dissappointed that she didnt make it for the live-show. Laura White- got through: no surprised there; with voice like Amy Winehouse- I really wish her all the best in her coming songs choices. Diana Vickers is great. I absolutely love her performance (Hallelujah) in the bootcamp. A bit too disappointed that Amy Connoly's journey in XFactor ended now (over that alexandra girl). Ah.

iii) Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was on TV again. Again like for the 5th time since I've been in the UK. And yet there I was watching it and singing along (yes i know- guilty as charged- I have this penchant for musicals). Never notice this before: Baron Bomhurst's castle was actually NEUSCHWAN-freaking-TEIN. Been there!

Anyway... favourite song from the movie was: Doll on a music box . However today I fell for "truly scrumptious". And of course I was elated beyond words when those two songs were combined towards the end of the movie. Truly is soooo pretty. Ahhhhhh.

Eating Disorder

The other day I watched a very interesting documentary on Channel 4. It was about an 8 years old who is an anorexic. [Click here to watch it online] I was shocked to see such incident. 8 years old?!!! What's up with the kiddies these days. When I was a child of that age, all that I'm concern about is "will I miss the ice cream man if I take a quick nap". 

She's called Dana. Very beautiful girl. Pretty but thin (does this ring any bell??). (Editor's Note: p53 IS pretty and thin, but she is not in any way anorexic). It all started when she tried to eat healthily by giving up sweets and junk food. Then she became a vegetarian and not long after that she gave up food altogether.

It was shocking (to me, lest my sheer ignorance for the subject matter) to know that are more anorexic girls under the age of ten these days compared to previously. Obsession with body image has affected children of young age. Gosh- that's a disturbing thought. 

There I was- sitting in front of the TV gawking at it and making mental list of an anorexic's S+S. Dana ticked all the boxes.

• When she looks at mirror she sees a FAT girl (she is about 3 stone in weight)
• Extreme exercise (skipping all the time- mom took away her skipping rope, she then run up and down the stairs- mom detained her in her room, she then jumps on the same spot- dear God)
• Has a voice in her head that tells her thing and controls her LIFE.
• Calories counting. Even the older girls (in the rehab centre where she was at) was surprised to learn the fact that she knows the calories for everything.

[Click here for a review of this documetary]

The next day when I was in hospital I met a patient with ?Eating disorder. 80 odd. She refused to eat anything solid despite not having any dysphagia. Ensure (a type of nutritional drink/shakes) was delivered to her in small medicine cup- for which she happily drink away thinking that it was medicine. Ha! Of course the consultant was worried about her food intake, she's at high risk of not getting enough calories/nutrition. On further questioning (of her daughter) she has always been thin- all her life. 

Plus I noticed that she is very conscious about her appearance. Insisting of wearing matching coloured garment (pink nonetheless) from top to toe. At first I thought she's probably losing it (i.e. her mind- being old and all that), then when she really fiddle* with her hair while talking to my consultant or any other male doctors as a matter of fact, you know- with giggle and darting eyes. Body image issue anyone?

Numbers of elderly with eating disorder is underdiagnosed. The sad thing is when it is not detected(?) early enough, he/she will deteriorate fast or even die (many comorbidities and poor diet esp those living alone). 

My say: old also want to look pretty meh? Just enjoy life not that you have many of it left. 

*fiddle as in: brushing her hair away from forehead and tucking it behind her ears in a very teenage-like motion. difficult to explain, has to witness first hand.

Early morning awakening

God no, its 5am in the morning. And here I am logging onto internet, doing nothing in particular. I was awake since half 3. And for that I call myself a freak.

My sleeping pattern changed alot since the end of Ramadan (fasting month). Sleeping more than ever. You'd be surprise to know that on average I sleep more than 10 hours (even on weekdays!) Surely it wont do any good to my revision program (yup I do have one but failing very terribly to stick to the program).

However after a general inquiry to most of my friends, some of them also experienced sleeping problem. My gay best friend mentioned that he is currently lacking in sleep (the general medicine placement is too taxing he said). Some other fell ill due to changes in weather lately. 

I think it the weather that wavers most hope we have inside of us. North west of the UK is notorious for that. This week has been an absolute nightmare. Some days it was pissing it down and some days it was sunny at 11am up to a point of boiling (of course in turtleneck and boots- who wouldnt- because it was initially wet and cold when I left my flat at 8am). You can bet that on the day that I forget to bring my brollies (umbrella) it will rain like hell. 

I can actually feel a Seasonal Affective Disorder creeping in. Tsk. 

I am noticably more quiet than usual (whatttt??) and prefer sleeping more than doing other thing. Some days I feel like snapping at people (esp one of my flatmates who behaves like a cow) and hospital is the only place I seek refuge from. Weird but true. In hospital with my team (in ward or clinic) I am still me. Generous, helpful and full with smiles. Out of hospital (even when walking toward the bloody bus stop- see Im doing it now), more often than not, I am a miserably person with very low energy level. 

At least I dont lose interest in thing I like doing. FYI, reading textbooks has never been in that category (category: thing I like doing). I still get excited over groceries shopping, watching and commenting on Xfactor and ANTM, and enjoying good food. 

Hope things will get better soon, p53.

Given above was an internal monologue of a final year medical student. Evaluate the situation (10marks).

Snippets

Here are snippets of life from the past few days: hospital and non-hospital related.

i) I started with a new team last Monday and I seriously could NOT ask for a better team. One month of hospital placement with a stroke/ elderly medicine team. The SpR, the ST doctor and the FY1 are all fabulous. I love them. Yet to meet my consultant (although I know him from previous teachings) as he is on his week-off for Eid celebration.

ii) Talking of which, we celebrated our Eid on Tuesday. Yeay! I didnt take any day off, no point really as there were no mosque close by that I could have gone to for Eid prayer. So I went to hospital instead. (No kidding).

iii) On Tuesday I received a lot of Eid wishes and that made me happy. I talked and examined alot of patients and that made the patients happy. I taught some 3rd year juniors some CT thorax and murmurs and that made them happy. I got off my ward early and that made me even happier. Then I had big dinner with housemates (they cooked traditional dishes and I baked!) and of course that made me super happy. Then when I thought I couldnt be any more happier than I was at the time, my crush called me. And that made me float. Really.

iv) So today I brought some of the cookies for my team and staff at the ward. I grinned from ears to ears with the reception that I received for my humble little cookies. 

v) Ward was quiet today. Except for a patient who screamed (very loudly!!!) when ST tried to cannulate him. He said and I quote: "I dont want anything doing with me anymore, just let me be. If its my time, then let me die. Stop... stop... stop everything (voice diminished)..."

Questions: When do we know when exactly to stop? When patient is competent, can we doctors still intervene against patient's wish, in the name of -patient best interest-? What happen to our oath if we dont do anything to this patient? Is it a passive euthanasia if we let the patient be? Does prolonging patient's life means prolonging patient's suffering?

vi) Alrighty, that was btw a patient with rectal cancer who bleeded PR last night (passing maleana and clots of fresh blood). He was an 80y-o (4years hx of cancer) and refusing any further interventions (fluids, bloods, endoscopy etc). This was a same patient who reported seeing things that werent there (?hallucination due to secondary mets in brain). Bless his soul. I dont want him to suffer anymore, but I dont want him to die either. Tough call. 

vi) One of my friends came to my ward (her ward was opposite my ward) and she was surprised to see that my ward is very modern and new and spacious and nicely done. And that my team is super friendly. Ha. Just my luck.

vii) Then later today I cooked soto for dinner. Very delicious yet very time consuming and patience-testing dish. So many different steps (make the rice, then the soup, then have to shred the chicken, then boil potatoes, then mix with mince meat, make meatballs, fry them, make fried onions, prepare cripsy vermicelli, prepare spicy chilli soy-sauce, omg why did I choose to make this in the first place???) Luckily I got help from couple of very nice people, even then all the cooking took 2 hours to complete. It look like this [picture credit]

Good day? yes. hope everyone is also having a good time no matter what you guys are doing. 

xoxo gossip girl eh, xzxz sleepy medic.

Updates

Hi to all, 

How is everyone? Hope weekend brings only joy to everyone's life.

Okkkaaay...

I finished one month placement in a block called Student Selected Block (SSB).

Glad that I started with SSB first (i mean if say for example I were to start straight to hospital placement with a surgeon- which will definately crush my world and make me miserable). 

During SSB I had chance to laze around (like seriously) and eased myself in a very relax and slow-mo way into learning atmosphere (remember that by the time final year started I had NOT done any serious reading -on medicine and surgery- for at least 5 months: yeah- all due to short project, big project and summer holiday). so phew!

The essence of SSB is for students to do as much as (or as little as- like me- BAD!!!) they like to gain insights into the medical world. Sound cliche I know, but we are talking business here man! There were compulsory sessions to revise skills (which was an utter waste of time me thinks because we all fecking know already ALL the bloody skills). Then there were human simulation sessions (SIMs) that were exciting at times and got stressful at the others. In SIMs, students were asked to managed a dummy for various emergency situation. The SIMs can speak, blink his eyes, has circulating blood, receive IV drugs n fluids and for f*** sake has a cardiac arrest!!! 

On top of all that, we had to do compulsory sign-ups fo career taster (read: spend a day or half a day with a consultant asking them a lot of questions about their specialty and hopefully taste what the specialty can offer). I was personally frustrated that specialty like genetics and hematology are not included in the list. Instead we had this long list of rubbish. And due to compulsory nature of having to do at least one career taster per week, reluctantly I had to sign-up for the rubbish ones (you can choose, but the choices are very limited, and all the interesting ones- I know how roughly the specialty works as I had spent time in doing projects- like oncology etc). Neurophysiology- wtf? Plastic surgery. At least now I know for certain that I wont ever choose to specialize in either  of them. 

If there was one good thing that come out of the career taster rubbishness; it'll be spending a morning with a newly appointed, not to mention super cute, Anaesthetist. He is so charming, its untrue. Seriously, I swooned and drooled. So bad, p53. But hey ho, anaesthetics is again NOT an area of interest. Radiology, however, seem promising (never thought that it'll be!) so I will definately consider it in case of me being complacent and as lazy as I am right now comes 5 years time. 

So that's roughly an SSB block in smallcity's base hospital. I heard in other base hospitals, they hardly have anything (what? two weeks of nothingness?) and close to 200 students were placed at this tertiary cancer centre of excellence. Dont know which one is better, our SSB or theirs. I still choose our SSB despite its utter crappyness over complete nothingness that will only send me straight to depression-land. 

Ok guys, weather is nice. I'm gonna go out and soak some sun and probably hit on some guys. Whoops.

Ps: Eid celebration program is in place. Whoops whoops... I baked some cookies last nite and managed to find matching scarf and shoes for my eid dress the weekend before. And now, who should I pick to be my arm candy (read: date) for the big kick ass eid celebration party in BIGCITY?

Blogging so far

I just realized two things about this blog:

i) I didnt have any entry in August. Explanation: was traveling for the whole month!

ii) I went pass my 100th entry mark and I didnt notice it. Explanation: Just the kind of thing that I didnt realize unless someone mention it to me.

HIV

I think somewhere previously I had mentioned that HIV is one of my favourite viruses (reason: its clever, living intracellularly crippling the immune system insiduously, yeay!). Actually world will be a better place without it, seriously we are better off without this dangerous retrovirus.

FACT: More than 30 million people worldwide are now infected with HIV. That's alot! -Considering that there are a lot more undiagnosed cases. 

Speaking of which, mom and dad are worried that I'll be going to Africa soon (for electives). I am not. Well, at least yet. 

PS: Finally, a medically related entry! Ha. You guys will be pleased to hear that revision has started for (poor?) me albeit very slowly (escargot or tortoise like speed) 

How much sex is enough?

"For me? Oh, God. My idea of the perfect life would be if we just stayed in bed all time. We could make love more or less continuously, only get up to bring in supplies, you know, fresh water and fruit to prevent scurvy, and make occasional trips to the bathroom to shave before diving back into bed. And once in a while we could change the sheets. And go to the movies to prevent bedsores."

-a quote from a novel; has niffenegger been reading my mind?-

Ceilidh Dance

I went to my first Ceilidh dance event.

It was AMAZING! (although at times, i was panting like hell, gasping for air, almost fainted even- OMG i am so unfit)
I danced with a lot of people, alot I meant alot. Lads and Lasses.
Grinning all night.



this is an example of ceilidh dance... the one that we had then was obviously more energetic and craaazeeeeee...
(of course being an event for medics*, dowh)

*fund raising for mountain rescue team. good stuff.

Eurotrip 2008 (Part 3)

OK, is anyone out there still reading this? (I mean really interested in reading the travel stories, Me myself grow tired of typing despite the stories being very exciting for me personally)

Recap: We had been to Budapest, Vienna, Krakow and now heading to Prague. As I hinted previously: Prague is where everything went wrong. Of course, time for yet another list:

WHY I DON'T LIKE PRAGUE:

i) I had my first big argument with my traveling partner. Mind you guys, I have been traveling with this particular girl since the last five years and had had many good times (nope, let me change that: many great times) trawling the narrow streets of venice, feeding the kangaroo in melbourne, awe-ing at the art of Muslim architecture in southern spain etc. Details are hard to recall but to cut the story short: I had lack of sleep while she didn't have her daily dose of coffee the morning we shouted at each other in the metro (and at its platform) in Prague. That was really a BADDDD experience, definitely something that I wish will never happen again.

ii) Prague is too crowded. Too many tourists. Blocking all the views, disturbing all photo opportunities, annoying me at every turn! 

iii) It rained. Every. Day. Boo. Me and Miss A again had disagreement: about the umbrella this time. Never thought that she was so sensitive about my usual frank comment, she was probably still geared up from the first fight (point no 1).

If there is one good thing that happened in Prague it would be going to string quartet performance in a converted church. They played crowd-pleaser renditions and I went ga-ga (as usual) over thing like this. Air (bach) and spring (Vivaldi) etc. 

From there we went to Munich on a night train (which a total killer as the journey sucked big time- 4 hours stop in an extremely cold train station)

Munich is, again, a city that excel well beyond my expectation. I could actually see myself living there. Why? I dont know. But I just like the laid back atmosphere there. We went to Deustches Museum (and was amazed with the size and number of exhibits), watched a concert of Germany famous artists (free in the town square), climbed a clock tower (and saw gorgoeus view of the whole city), ate Halal chicken sandwich (and delicious ciabatta....hhhmmm...mmm) and spoke to Munchen people (very friendly, I must add).

Then... then... then.... (ooo this is very exciting) ..

we went to a castle: Neuwschwantein Schloss. It was damn gorgoeus. This castle was used as the template for designing the Sleeping Beauty castle in Disneyland worldwide. I find it very difficult to describe the area without pictures, because it really was amazing. Even with pictures, the real thing is so much more magnificent. Info: This area is located about 2 hours away from Munich.

Then, the journey continued into Switzerland. Absolutely breathtaking. More story later. 

Ta, p53.

Eurotrip Summer (Part 2)

Aih, seasonal affective disorder is here again for this academic year.
Boo.
Since we started (we referring to 5th years) on Monday the 1st of Sept, Friday was one the only totally free day that I had. So I slept. Nothing surprising or new there but, it got to the point of worryingly more than usual. I woke up for sahur (early morning breakfast in Ramadhan) and then got back to sleep. Woke up again around the usual time 9-ish. Had my shower and got dressed. Decided that reading about liver was wee bit too boring and had a nap. Woke up at 1pm-ish and looked out of the window. Drizzling. Went back to sleep. Woke up at 5pm. Thought that "man- this is sickening!" Out of my bed for good (for this sleeping marathon session).
Altogether it was 8hours of sleep on top of my regular 8hours of nightly sleep. Shocking.
I am not depressed am I? I need to really watch my sleep (like how those on diet really have to watch what they are eating).

Anyway... after I (finally) woke up, I went out for an iftar (when you break fast) dinner with a group of friends. Food was gorgeous. The restaurant that we went to is definitely one of the best Indian restaurant around. Worth a visit any day. 15quids for copiuos amount of food- I could hardly walk afterwards. Then back to my friend's place and played SceneIt on XBOX. Good stuff although I have to say I prefer PS3's SINGSTAR.

Ok.
Back to my Eurotrip story.

Recap: We've been to Budapest and Bratislava so far. Weather had been brilliant. Hot and sunny- probably I could get back to UK with a bit of tan.

We arrived in Vienna later that day (after spending a day in Bratislava). As with all cities that we have been to, upon arrival we had to figure out how does the public transport work. Let me add at this point that:-
i) Me and Miss A are both quite good in navigating our way in new places.
ii) We always take the cheapest option (sometime we are so lucky you just wouldnt believe it)
iii) Sometime it pains me just to leave a city when I'm already an expert of its transportation system, only to have to learn a new, completely different system in the next city. For this I always say: new city new adventure.

So from the train station we got to our hostel by bus. The hostel was a proper backpackers' place. We were placed in a room of 6. Went out to survey the area (almost sunset time then) and checked out the museum quarter and the Hofburgs (official palaces for the kings and queens of Austria). I remember having McDonalds (filet o fish- in case you're wondering) while looking at the shadow of the Hofburgs fall upon the Kunhistorisches Museum. When night beckoned, we made our way back to the hostel and I had (cold!) shower- with people playing poker right in front of my shower room. Not that it matters but it was certainly weird.


There were people playing loud Indian music from the room next to ours. The use of the word 'room' is probably incorrect as the hostel was more like a long corridor with make-shift cubicle consisting of thin cardboard and curtain. And then there were people who took ages to get ready to go out partying. I slept straight away only to wake to some snoring noise around midnight time. As I opened my eyes, I was not prepared to see what lay there in front of me. A BIG guy sleeping in just his boxers. What a frightening sight. Not that it matters but it was like a nightmare that I had to look at a relatively hairy guy sleeping less then 10feet away from me. Put on my earplugs and turned over to the other side, and voila.


The next day we went to Schonbrunn Palace (summer resident) and I personally found that it is very impressive. Learnt a bit about the Austrian history- which I have already forgotten about by the time of writing. The gardens are definitely something that I'll be proud about if I live there. Not like it ever gonna happen. Ha.

Austria in comparison to Budapest and Bratislava, is a modern city despite of perfect preservation of anything historic. Hence things cost slight more here. The city is cleaner and the poeple look well-off. The museum quarter is a hip area where a lot of teenagers hang out amidst bustling atmosphere.

I regretted the fact that we were only there for 1 day 1 night, so now I would like to advise to others who are planning to visit Vienna, please stay longer (3 days at the least) as there are so much to see. I missed out on the one of the world's best museum as it was closed on the day we were there. At this point let me give some tips:
i) Beware of opening days of major attraction (most museum close on Monday in that part of world)
ii) Note that on sunday, all shopping complex/ shops are closed (with the exception of eateries and Starsbuck and its alike)
iii) Plan that journey in a way that you couple sunday with the saturday before or monday with the tuesday after for each cities. Just so you wont miss out. Not that it matters if you just want to chill out in the park and eat and drink beers (for non-muslims only).

We took our first night train from Vienna to Krakow. Uneventful journey. I slept straight away but Miss A did complaint of slight sleeping difficulties in the first few hours. Poor girl, but she was fine for the subsequent legs of journey.

Warning: Do not attempt backpacking on train ever if you're a light sleeper/ can't sleep anywhere else apart from your own bed/ like the comfort of a proper bed. You will just hate the whole trip and make thing miserable for your traveling partner(s).


Krakow is awesome, man! Seriously truly a surprise coz I wasnt expecting it to be as good. It is a developing city (with loads of construction) that has well preserved historical sites. It has this multi-storey shopping complex that can rival Arndale of Manchester. Weather was bright and sunny for each day we were there (read: loads of ice cream!) Markets are simply the bomb (with such closed-knit atmosphere) with a lot of things organic and oh so fresh. The central square is so happening like you wouldnt believe that you are in Krakow, better than Trafalgar sq. Amber comes cheap (thats why I got some, hehe, mere excuse I know) and food are reasonably priced. The castle on the hill become a photoshoot location for me and Miss A. Trust me it is THAT beautiful. Then there is this river 5 mins walk from the castle. We played many round of Uno on the river bank while watching the sun set. Miss A kept on saying "this is the life man". Indeed. That was the life.

I dont think I can praise Krakow enough. If you're thinking of going to Poland, go to Krakow instead of Warsaw (some parts of warsaw were destroyed in WWII).

Speaking of which, we went to one of the concentration camp use by Hitler and his army to mass-murder Jewish and Polish during the WWII. Auschwitz. The name in itself send shivers down my spine. Those who are interested can read more about Auschwitz in Wikipedia. I have my own stand about this issue, which I'm not prepared to talk in length about. Ask me personally if you're interested to know.

Later that day we took a night train to Prague. Prague, where everything went wrong. Oh no.

To be continued.
p53 xoxo

Eurotrip Summer (Part 1)

I have always wanted to backpack in Europe, be it on the train, hitch-hiking or road-trip by driving. Its just one of the things that I must do during my five years stay in UK (yeah- something that I promised myself). It is also one of the things that are on my to-do-before-I-die-list. So- yahoo, bring it on.

The wise thing do is to planning for the trip long before the actual trip. The idea was, but the preparation was not. Should I go alone? Or should I go with a friend? Friend- which one is better- a male or a female? Where to go? Where to start? Budget? Means of transportation? And a lot of other small things but just as important. However with all the things going in 4th year and what seems like something very typical of me- all trip-related planning was done not long before the departure date itself. Spur of a moment kind of thing.

One of the most important issues prior to the departure date was: Should we (by this time I decided to go with Miss A, my travel partner) book everything beforehand? Or should we rough it and leave it all to fate? Bear in mind this is peak summer season we are talking about (smack bang right in August!) After careful deliberation following readings of few travel books, we decided to book everything- for our peace of mind.

Details:
When: August 2008
Where: Started in the UK then the other European countries.
Means: Train (with Interrail Pass for under 26- 10 days in 22 days)
Accom: Hostels
Budget: As much as the cost of a flight ticket back to home country in peak season (roughly 800quids- trust me- worth every penny!)
Baggage: Only small backpack allowed- for ease of traveling (about 25L each- light and can be carried on cabin)

Ok now the fun bit.

Route: A smallcity in UK- BRADFORD- YORK- MANCHESTER- BUDAPEST- BRATISLAVA- VIENNA- KRAKOW- PRAGUE- MUNICH- SWITZERLAND- PARIS-BRUSSEL-MANCHESTER- A smallcity in UK

Right after we moved out of our house in smallcity, we headed to Bradford to honour the invitation of HM#1’s parents. Good stuff: we ate a lot (in preparation of halalless eastern European countries) and watch tv like there was no tomorrow (no tv in hostels or even if they have one, most likely it’ll be in a foreign language).

Then we went to York to visit a good friend. Big country house/mansion. Her dog barked every single time he saw me. Bad dog. We had so much fun doing the new York Maze. It took us hours though. I still remember the brilliant time we had having (home-cooked) dinner in her garden just when the sun was about to set. I will miss her when I get back to my home country- seriously.

From there on, we got to Manchester. I saw few good friends and complaint about how long has 4th yr been. I topped up on carb before we flew to Budapest.

The immigration officer asked me: Do you have enough money?
Me: Sure (my mouth smiled then, when my brain was actually saying: Wtf is he thinking about?? Hell yeah I got enough money- did I not tell you just now that I was there on vacation?)
Immigration officer looked at me quizzing and then decided to let me through. (After few days, I found out why: a lot of illegal immigrants from Romania wears black scarf- like I did on arriving in Hungary). Ohh…. Hmm… we did see a lot of beggars when we were there –presumably Muslims from Romania/Bosnia? - Some with kids and all. Haih.

Budapest looks nice generally but some parts do look rundown. The city area is divided (by a river) into the Buda and the Pest area. One of the bridges crossing that river looks stunning at night. Interesting place includes: the castle, the funicular, the parliament and the massive, absolutely romantic looking park in the city- lots of couple were there for wedding photographs.

We met my best gay friend unexpectedly in Budapest- what a small world, by that time he was already two weeks into his trip- looking all tan and gay-ish (meaning happy).

Then we took a very early morning train to Bratislava. See the thing about using train pass you have to really organize and plan your route so that you can maximize its use. (unless of coz you get yourself an unlimited one month pass which gonna cost you 260quids). So a day trip to Bratislava it was. After which we headed straight to Vienna on the same day.

Bratislava is even more so run-down compared to Budapest. It was practically empty at 8.30am –time of arrival. It is a small, walkable city (with maps scale of about 1 km from east to west and north to south). Some part of the castle is currently under construction, so we spent our afternoon in the castle’s garden- lunching and reading. Other tourists found us interesting (or at least that’s what I thought) or probably pretty (no doubt about this) as most of them stared at us like the new see a-muslim-person before (ala Eminem in his Slim Shady song). The big cathedral is quite impressive in term of its height and I can only imagine how the long tall stain glass will look like from the inside (imagine because it was Sunday, and we didn’t go in as there was a mass taking place). We took bucket load of pictures considering how small this place is.

Then off to Austria late that evening.
(to be cont’d)
p53 xoxo

L.U.S.H

I was in L.U.S.H yesterday when I couldn't help but eavesdrop the conversation of a group of youngsters. (Brief description: they are punk-ish looking, 15-16y-o two boys and two girls group of very close friends). What drew my attention was: the two boys are actually gay and so well spoken about all things girlish. Would have expected that when I saw one of them flicking his hair in such a show manner!

Quote:
Why don't LUSH make a perfume that smells like LUSH's shop? Coz I like the smell veeerrryyy much! Nothing more refreshing than 'this' (hands pointing to the air)!

well, thats what he said.
I couldnt agree less.

*LUSH is a company that produces ethical, hand- made based things (skincare, lotion, shampoo and soapsssss!) I love them all and I love the smell of the shop.

Helloooooooooooooooooo....

Hi,
Yeah, I'm still around.
Just been away from all the internet for the last month more or less due to traveling.

Of course there is a lot to tell.
I don"t even know where to begin.

Traveling.
Eurotrip- as i keep on calling it. I visited 9 countries with my traveling partner and I absolutely enjoyed myself during the trip. Few glitches here and there, but hey ho, one thing struck off my to-do-before-i-die-list.
More stories about the trip in later posts. I couldn't upload the picture just yet- don't know whats up with my computer and couldnt find the original CD for the camera to reset the uploading system.

Ok.

I'm a fifth year now.
Can you believe it? I fond it hard to believe myself.
I still remember the first few weeks I was in UK and I met few of the final years then and I thought "Gosh, when will i ever be a final year?"
Well, I am now.
Scared to bones- remember nothing (well almost) medically related.
Nevermind, I'll take everything in my strike and see how it goes.
No point of worrying about whats gonna happen. or so it may seem as at 4th sept. ha.
More stories to follow.

Other than that:
i) I'm still sleepy most of the time (this fasting thing saps my energy faster than you can say energy itself)
ii) Still thin- thank God I didnt lose anymore weight than what I could afford. Backpacking is a sure way of losing weight- trust me.
iii) I kinda miss a lot of people right now. why o why?

Till then,
p53

Updates as promised

In photolog style.

Week starting 14th July was one of the busiest week in 4th year. I had (well, ok, all of the 4th yrs had many deadline for this penultimate week of BIGPROJECT). I had to hand in my final draft, prepared powerpoint presentation, present it to supervisor, print my report, get it bind, submit before noon of 18th, make copies and return files. Phew... I ran around like headless chicken then and so did many others.

Then that weekend, I went to BIGCITY to spend my last days with one of my BFF. We did many things together (watching movies, tv, shopping, dining among others) for which I felt slightly flustered about knowing that she was gonna leave UK for good. I am totally gonna miss her.

-pic- flower (and grass!) exhibition in front of BIGCITY's town hall. Passing by in front of the town hall after watching MAMMA MIA at a local cinema. I sang all the way during the end credits and all the way back home on bus. Hehe.


-pic- shopping- yeah. me likey. As my friend needed to do some last minute shopping, I obliged easily to be her shopping assistant. Shopping is GREAT (even for some one else).


Then, we got our presentation on 23 + 24th. I was rather nervous for mine- it went well, thank God. Yaahuooo! I was impressed with some of the other topics. Few panels (5 panels aka examiner for each session) were really giving students hard time asking for what seem like difficult questions.

-pic- no pic from inside the lecture theatre- had pic from the outside instead. By the pond. Hmm.. the ducklings are now very big and strong albeit ugly (hehe, cannot help but say that sentence!)


Then my housemates, BFF and I went to Cheshire Oaks for massive summer shopping. I bought many pretty things. My friends bought many more pretty things. We were HAPPY!

-pic- me trying on stuff- the pants/trousers is super nice!!!


-pic- one day worth of shopping- yippee

updates as promised

Hi ya all.

Updates updates updates.
Nothing majorly interesting but certainly they were significant for me.

17th July
I presented my project to my supervisor and another consultant (my supervisor is now away on a holiday at the time of writing, so someone else has to replace him at the ACTUAL presentation). They were rather concern about the presentation of the presentation. yeah, that's right, about the background colour and the font choice. My supervisor said and I quote

"You may think that red background is a good background colour, saucy even. But I think if we chance it to silver-greyish, I think its sexy"

And I was like "are you kidding me?"

So I changed some part of the presentation and sent it off to the admin peeps.

18th July
Deadline for submission of written report of our BIGPROJECT.
Me and BFF went to Staples in town and got them reports bound. I have never been to the Staples. So I was a bit gleeful entering a stationary heaven like that. Ooo-- look at that, ooo- look at this.

At the time, I must have sounded like a kid in a candy store. A loud one.

But really nice pens and brightly coloured papers bring out the inner child in me. Ha!

So I sent off my written report and felt as if I done something out of world. Its my baby really, but smudged with swear words (while I was doing it). I was so glad to part with the report. It is like a curse in itself. Making my life so miserable. I will write a reflective piece about the BIG PROJECT. Later.

At this moment of time, I want to bitch about my housemate no. 4 as she has been a total pain in the ass for the last few days. But I will throw a bitch fit later. Need to vent out somehow.

19th July
Was in BIGCITY. At my friend's house.
Good days.
We (three girlie girls) went to watch MAMMA MIA.
oh, and a what a brilliant movie it was.
I had to continuously remind myself to not to sing out loud. Which is very difficult as I know most of the songs. Ah.
There were kids in front of us who waved their hands to the ABBA renditions.
So cute.

My favourite song would have to be "slipping through my fingers" I could so envision my mom singing that to me, apart from the the fact that she never sing. Ha. I will possibly sing this song to my daughter. Oh, so sad.



I swear, it brings tear to my eyes every time.

"If you change your mind, I'm the first in line"

There were 3 old men (60-ish) sitting behind us in the cinema. They started singing (during the end credits) so I could NOT just allow them to sing with me sitting quietly in my seat. So I stood up and sang. Ha. So me!

To those who havent watch it- go and watch it asap.
Really.

20th July
Shopping shopping shopping.

21st July
One of my best friend is leaving UK for good. She completed her undergraduate course here in the BIGCITY and decided to work in our home country rather than doing her Foundation Year training here.
I was of course so sad. aih.
This girl is one of the best person I've ever met.
Never judge me- although I have to admit that my life is abnormal in a lot of sense. Always supportive and wise.
I take her as my big sis (as I dont have one) and definitely will miss her dearly.
I would have cry if it were just me and her at the airport, but since there were also presence of other not-so-close people, I knew I should not. Public display of emotion is abnormal in our culture. But then again, everything about me is abnormal.
Babe, let me tell you this- I was crying inside then, what if I fall sick missing you?

22nd July
Practiced my oral presentation.
And did a bit of house cleaning. We are moving out of this house towards the end of July so the house will be free for rent. Two group of viewers came to visit. One dissed the house. HOW DARE! (the wife is actually a frigging complainer who threw insults to the house). And the other group signed for the house. They are the lucky group, this house is so pretty.

23rd July
First day of presentation.
A lot of very good topics.
Put me to shame.
Was absolutely tired toward the end of the day (honestly, some presentations just sent me straight to my lala land even in the lecture theatre)