A Fine Frenzy

I stumbled across this artist by chance on YouTube. For a split second, I was crossed with myself for a bit for not knowing this song any earlier.
OMG... the first time I heard this song, I felt a surge of deepest emotion resurfaced. This will be the perfect song for an 'almost lover' I have (note the present tense verb used- yeah- have not had). The entire lyric is exactly what I want to say to him.
Has she (Alison Sudol) been foreseeing things about to happen between me and him? "spanish lullabies""you took my hand and danced with me" "you told me you would never, never forget". [Insert sad face here: aaaarrgghh good memories turn into painful reminders]

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

~~~Too bad at the moment I cant really say these words to him*~~~

*Him = not my ex, nor my crush

From Morocco with Love

This is me. Pretty, I know.

**I wont upload picture(s) that can give away my identity. Or other people's. This blog is strictly anonymous.**

Thing for sale

Not my personal things.

This entry is based on an online sale/buy notice board in the intranet at my (NHS) Trust. But before we go any further let me explain the background briefly.

As we all know, I'm working from my tutor's office (logging in sometimes with his password, most of the times with my password). Regardless of any password, there are a handful of websites that are not accessable (read: banned permanently) in this Trust internet. These include the very much love: FACEBOOK, FRIENDSTER and most importantly: YOUTUBE.*

Left with not much choice of fun-filled websites, I developed this habit of checking the notice board, just, yeah- just to see if there is anything interesting that I can waste my money on.

As at today, 25th June 2008, these are the things posted for sale on the notice board. (o-boy, there are all sort of things here)

i) Tractor
FULL SIZE MASSEY FURGUSON TRACTOR, CIRCA 1950's FOR SALE. IT IS IN GOOD CONDITION,WITH GEARBOX, ETC, BUT HAS NO ENGINE. AFTER GIVING THE GRANDCHILDREN MANY HAPPY HOURS OF PLAY THEY HAVE SADLY OUTGROWN IT SO IT IS NOW LOOKING FOR A NEW HOME. IF YOU WOULD LIKE A LARGE, COLOURFUL AND UNUSUAL TOY OR GARDEN ORNAMENT YOU COULDN'T DO BETTER. IT HAS BEEN PAINTED BLUE, YELLOW AND RED. BUYER TO COLLECT (CHORLEY AREA). ONLY ASKING £100
***tractor??? as a garden ornament- even better!***

ii) Handphones

• Nokia 6288
• lg veiwty
• sony ericsson w850i

iii) Tickets

• ++++++ DOLLY PARTON ++++++ at MEN Arena
• Romeo & Juliet- Outdoor Performance at the Park
• Kylie Minogue MEN Arena
• Oliver - West End

iv) BEN 10 STICKERS
My seven year old Grandson is collecting these stickers and has loads of doubles anyone out there wanting to swap!
***how cute is this***

v) Wedding dresses

• Justine Mireil designer silk duchess wedding gown in Ivory. Corset detail strapless bodice and skirt. 'Beatrice' design. Size 14.
• TIFFANY AND CO. WHITE WEDDING DRESS - BEAUTIFUL DRESS - MUST BE SEENPRINCESS STYLESize 10/12 - very long length so can be shortenedRRP £900Will sell for £350 ONO
• IAN STUART Wedding dress size 14 Ivory silk
• Ronald Joyce designer wedding dress in ivory silk with cinderella hemline edged with pearl drops.

vi) Cars

• 2001 VOLKSWAGEN GOLF 2.0 Avantgarde 2dr Convertible
• Audi Cabriolet 1996
• MERCEDES E220 AUTO 1994
• JAGUAR! - FULL LEATHER SEATS ALL EXTRAS LOVELY CAR-
• FORD FIESTA 1.4 GHIA
• HONDA CIVIC TYPE R. 2004
• MG-ZS 1.8Ltr,5 door.saloon

vii) Lids

******PLASTIC LIDS******DOES ANYONE NEED MILK BOTTLE LIDS AND POP BOTTLE LIDS (I.E. COKE ETC)????FOR SOME REASON I'VE BEEN COLLECTING (!) AND HAVE GOT GAZILLIONS.I UNDERSTAND THAT SOME CHARITIES TAKE THEM FOR THEIR WEIGHT AND CAN GET CASH TOWARDS EQUIPMENT.

***wth? why collect them in the first place?***

viii) Piano

MEDIUM HEIGHT PIANOLight wood finish, convinient size for most rooms. Great condition and well looked after, recent tuning. Has plenty of life left in it. would like quick sale £100 ono

***I want!!!***

ix) Rabbits

• Rabbit, Free to good home. Black an white, eats like a large dog haha. With hutch needs a little attention. nothing major though.
• RABBIT- FREE TO A GOOD HOME! Gorgeous, grey, lop-eared rabbit. 2yrs old and extremly friendly used to living indoors. Very reluctant to get rid of this rabbit as he is so lovely but my partner is allergic to him.

***free rabbit, aha?***

x) ***i like this*** Fish Tank

A large tropical fish tank for sale due to health reason's.This unit rests on a double cupboard which is finished in teak and It comes with all accessories including a double filter heater and pump(No fish sorry)

***note how he ended with 'no fish sorry'***

xi) Last but not least

FOR SALE

Treadmill. £150.00 Hardly used due to lack of motivation!!!!! Waistline increasing as a result.

Rowing machine. £80.00 Bought before treadmill - hence more dust gathered on this piece!!

***hilarious-- I must have laughed for over 5mins for this gem!***

* blogger.com is accessible, so are flickr, fotopages, wordpress and store websites -topshop, gap, etc. All in all, there are still things that I can surf when bored.

Suicidal

I am THIS close to jumping out of the window next to me.
(THIS being thumb and index finger put very closely together).

All hail, please give me strength O Mighty Lord.

***edited later***
Sorry for being so negative. Boredom and me dont go well together.
It is a nightmare going through thick (chunky- geddit?) patient notes.

BORDERS and others

I went to Borders (a national chain of bookshops for those who doesn't live in UK) this afternoon just to kill time. I woke up rather late (what a surprise) and decided to have my lunch first before going to hospital for life-sucking act of reading patients notes later in the afternoon.

That was actually killing two birds with one stone. I wanted to avoid my tutor. I know that he wont be around on TUE-WED-THUR, so if I could avoid him today, I have at least until THURSDAY night to procrastinate (from doing a very much due report, tsk tsk tsk). So what other better way to waste my time rather than going to my 'favourite' place in smallcity, the BORDERS (yup the one that has Paperchase (yeah!) and Starbucks (yeah yeah!!)).

So off I went.

I read few books (leisure browsing was more like it). Books that are worth mentioning:-

i) Happyslapped by a jellyfish (Karl Pilkington)
Its one of those books written by comedian ranting about everything with a funny twist. I had to admit though I laughed at every other page. Trust me, he is dead funny. I used to listen to his Podcasts a lot (I really mean a lot- waiting for new Podcasts or re-listen to older ones) especially the ones where he joined forces with Ricky Gervais. Reading his book (this one is about his various vacation, and cynically about his misfortune of having to go to hospital because of kidney stone - with a completely hilarious account on how he had camera up his nob!) reminds me of what a great comedian he is. I forgot how funny he was. I stopped listening to him after I broke-up with my last ex, as the negative association (karl-and-ex) was too unbearable to have. We used to watch Karl stand-up comedy together. Boo! Well, that aside, this book is certainly a good material for summer reading on the beaches of Ibiza, if not, for throwing at annoying holidaymaker.

ii) House of Leaves (Mark Z. Danielewski)
OH MY GOD! I had finally have this sacred book right in front of my eyes, right in my hands. I have been looking for this book since I first saw my ex-housemate reading it in FIRST YEAR. Yup readers, almost four years ago that was. The book is thick, aptly so for the story it holds. (Retailing at 20pounds) One of those cult, weird books that you have to have patience to read. The first sentence is insane: "This is not for you" (you know the bit where the author usually dedicate the book to their loves ones). Then the books has references (this is a fiction), in which the references has references of its own, and add in several appendixes and crazy pictures. Typing inside is an absolute nightmare (or a puzzle- depend which one you prefer to see it as) with pages where sentences are typed in a circle/square/have to be read with a mirror/etc. Is'nt that just pure genius (even more for a debut novel)? I love it and I will try to get my hands (this time around meaning to own it) on it.

iii) Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
I was a bit surprise to see that it is actually thinner than the Order of Phoenix. Never realized that. Will buy one later too, just to complete the HP's set that I have. Just.

So after thinking that I might have just manage to avoid my tutor I made my way back to the hospital (20mins walking + 5mins on bus). However, one of my friends was dead bored too doing her project. I was more than ever receptive to the idea of getting an afternoon coffee.

So off we went.

Bought few drinks and sat in the sun garden talking/gossiping/people watching for more than 2 hours. Boy, time do fly when we are having fun!

So off I went finally to my tutor's office.

I saw that he was there in the room but with his back towards me. SO practically he didnt see me.

So off I made an escape. Swiftly and quickly (using the word quickly is an understatement- with the speed of light?).

I reversed. And made my way to the stairs and out of the cancer centre without looking back.

Secretly grinning. Phew. That was close.

I was seeing things

Mountains of work waiting for me was the only thing that I didn’t look forward too when I was on the plane back home from my vacation (other things that I kinda cant wait to have/do: meeting my best friends, sleeping on my own back, not having to wake up at half 6 every morning). So when I went in on Thursday, as expected I have mountains of case notes (literally) waiting for me. 30-ish. Which was a lot considering that some of them were terribly thick!

I worked through (half of) them all morning. Pain in the ass. POO POO.

The cleaner said hi to me and asked: where have I been? No one knew that I was away in some foreign continent, enjoying my heart out. I said I was unwell, determined to keep it as my little secret. Later my tutor asked me the same question, to which I answered with the same excuse. They fell for it. (I promise I wont do it again- this academic year! Ha.)

Then I took an a hour break for lunch and afternoon prayer.

I was having an ablution at the prayer room when someone (let us call this guy, x) walked in and walked out straight away immediately (after seeing me?). I hadn’t had any visual aid (my glasses off) when x walked in, but from the blurry vision that I had, I thought, well, he was quite good looking (aka smartly dressed with dark blue shirt with a lighter blue tie, tall and has a dashing smile- oh yeah- he did smile to me). Bear in mind that I am very very short sighted. So, I did what I was supposed to do (read my afternoon prayer) and sorted myself out and got ready to walk out of the prayer room. Then it strucked me that x could have possibly been one of my friends, Mr Y. Yikes, if I (ever) thought that Mr Y is good looking, it must have been the end of the world because I always this disliking sort of feeling for Mr Y. My Y, in my opinion, is beyond salvation, too goofy looking, unkempt at times, has this messy kind of look especially with his unshaven beard. Gosh, I must have been very tired then that I started seeing things and to say he’s good looking.

Yikes, indeed.

I got back to my work in my tutor’s office and continued working.

After 3 hours of hard work, at around 5.30pm, I left hospital walking and of course what else could have happened? I met Mr Y! He greeted me first, when the original plan is to walk straight pass him as I really don’t fancy making social contact when looking horrible myself (3 hours of notes reading had just sucked out whats left of life in me- pretty much zombie). So I had to stop and chat with him, talking about nothing in particular.

However, later after finishing the small talk with Mr Y, I glad I did stopped. I realized midways during the talk, that the guy that I thought good looking from the prayer room was not Mr Y. Mr Y wore a white shirt (oversized albeit nicely pressed) with a black sweater vest. Yeay! X is not Mr Y. The next question is: is X is not Mr Y, then, who is him?

That’s gonna be a challenge for me, to find out who is the (mysterious) nice-smiling x. Cross my fingers that I will figure out his identity soon.

Updates

Ok, first thing first.
Sorry for the long hiatus from blogging. Did I tell or not tell you guys that I went for a holiday?

(Which will then bring us to point number two) I had just come back from a holiday in Morocco. Was there for 8 days 7 nights with HM#1 and HM#3. It was damn hot. So sunny that I practically had my sunglasses on most of the (day)time. The sun however provided a very good source of light for taking pictures.

(Hence point number three) We took like close to one thousand pictures in between three of us. I will share the pictures later in future entries. There are several pretty impressive pictures, especially the panoramic ones.

(Back to point number two) Morocco is brilliant:- Things come cheap, food is ALL halal, sceneries are amazing, shopping (or more accurately haggling) at the souks were just amusing for me. It was a very hot- tip: stay indoors, like for example air-conditioned museums or simply hotel room.

(Next point) I'm back to doing my project in Base Hospital. Watch out the space for more ranting about it later.

I can feel my liver

seriously!
I am sitting, (reading notes which is very boring hence) poking my tummy for no reason.
And there I felt it.
Gosh. It was rather painful, so I better stop before I cause any contusion.

PS: Is it possible to have D+V in summer?

Poker

Last night was the first time ever I played poker.

As virgin as it may seem, I already made a big fuss of not playing it with real money.

Others shuddered and sniggered in unison.

PS: Its no fun when you dont win!

Question

Have you ever had a day when your feeling is all mixed up?

Upset: I was told something so unexpected by my doctor. (me as a patient not student).

Really really upset, like the most upsetting thing in the world: After listening to my doctor's advices. "I can only advise but not force you to do so"

Weird: after the doctor done some minor procedure on me.

Rough: well who wouldnt after 1 hour of solid crying?

Angry: with the person inside me who's so liable to cry to things like this when I already warn her not to!

Disgusted: with myself for crying in front of my doctor and alone in a quiet room.

Hopeless: There's nothing I can do to change things.

Shocked: when I was told the prognosis and its implications.

Sad: because of all this, turn the inside of me into complete chaos.

Relief: (ever so slightly): after talking to my friends.

Loved: for having friends that stand by me no matter what (or sit by the crying me in the middle of canteen!)

Happy: Had a phone call from my crush! (what an unsuitable time, but life goes on!)

Felt like a liar: after talking to him. all cheerful cheerful when i talked to him, well in fact I actually hate myself in the given situation (of sobbing uncontrolably)

Excited: for what gonna happen later today (nothing to do with the crush, in case you guys are wondering)

Depressed: I know I am gonna have a whale of time tonight, but I know I wont be me.

Tired: of putting up a good front.

Self explanatory:
i) Felt like shiite.
ii) Distraught

Photolog: A week in pictures

Tuesday: Local Funfair in Town
I passed by the funfair. Nothing too exciting. Too many scallies (look at bottom left of the picture). Nice atmosphere though.












Wednesday: Theatre in London
Who would have thought that I'll be in London to watch a theatre performance in a middle of the week? I had. Bottom line: Wicked is so amazing!!! Simply the highlight of my week! The storyline is so nicely done, the dance perfectly choreographed and the songs, oh dear... I just went 'awwww' all the way.








Thursday: FTO
This is how an FTO looks like (for those who doesn't know). I bet it is one of those smooth handling cars. Interior ok-ish. Super low car can only mean one thing: super fast driving! I likeeeee.

PS: This is my friend's car.








Friday: What I wore that day
This was what I wore on Friday. I looked nice. Few people said I looked nice. What is it not to love about bows? Bows are fab! So there you go, spice up plain formal outfit (like in picture: white pants and white shirt) with a touch of glamour! I kid you not.

PS: This is the only edited picture in this entry. Cropped onto background of daisies.













Saturday: English Breakfast
My breakfast for the weekend. More like a brunch though as I had it a bit too late (well knowing that almost certainly I wont wake up early on weekend). Fact! To make life even better, I had them in the sun in my backyard. Heaven.









Sunday: Novels
These are the books that I'm planning of shipping back.
















Monday: This is life
(or not). I was walking back home from doing stuff for my project when I passed by this nice patch of ground covered with daisies and yellow flowers which I dont know what they are called. So I stopped to sit down and read my mags and eat some crisps. And I thought: This is life! ... or not when I noticed its whereabouts. Next to the Pathology Area where they do post mortems. If I wasnt imagining, there was even faint sound of a cutter (the ones that saw through any bones and skulls) Yikes! But hey, thats life!