MALE AND FEMALE MYTHS

I am in the process of packing up and cleaning my room. Imagine the amount of junk/books/clothes/papers/bits and bobs/men (ha I wish) I had to throw away/recycle/donate. A lot. Not so good in term of carbon footprint.

I tore of my wall/noticeboard/inspirational board i.e. taking off all the posters/to do lists/pictures/postcards/bills/timetables/love letters (haha) to leave it all bare sans art. Well my kind of art anyways.

So one of the things on the wall was an article. I got this article/list during my 4th year psychosocial teaching and I would like to share it with you guys.

MALE AND FEMALE MYTHS

1. Sex should be natural and spontaneous- asking for it spoils it.
2. All physical contact must lead to sex.
3. Men always want and ready for sex.
4. Sex is for male pleasure- a woman's duty is to fill his needs not her own.
5. Men must take charge of and orchestrate sex.
6. If women arent orgasmic they should fake it.
7. Women expect men to know all about sex.
8. Men should not have or at least not express certain feelings.
9. Anything other than the missionary position is dirty.
10. Women must wait for male to initiate.
11. For men, in sex, as elsewhere, it is performance that counts.
12. Women must maintain a 'good' reputation.
13. Women must be attractive, obedient and passive- because men expect it.
14.Having sex menas having intercourse.
15. For couple to have sex, the man must have an erection.
16. Good sex always ends in orgasm.
17. Good sex means both partners having an orgasm, preferably at the same time.
18. There is something wrong with a man who has lower sex drive than a woman.
19. In general, women receive more stimulation from alarge penis than a small one.
20. Nice girls dont get turned on- and they certainly never move during love making.
21. Dont show affection to men because the will want sex.
22. If a woman shows interest in making love, she must be promiscuous.
23. Most homosexuals exclusively adopt the passive or active role in their sexual relationship.

I kinda have my own opinion for each of the statement, but telling it outright here would mean disclosing too many personal infos (and you guys will know my preferences in the subject matter.) End of story.

So there you go. Myths. NOT!

PS2

Hi Mom,
Look at what I had bought!
I dont know what had possessed me, but I ended up buying this whole lot from eBay.
It was a bargain though. Really.
And now I know what is an addiction. Mom, I never thought that what Iman* says were remotely true. Yup, it is difficult to stop once one starts on any of the games. I play Guitar Hero. Mom, arent you proud of me? Haaaa? What? You would prefer it if I learn how to cook instead? Ooo..okay. Im trying here.

Im trying to be better at the Medium level of Guitar Hero. Its really difficult Mom, it really is. You always tell me practice makes perfect, thats why I'm spending 2-3 hours daily (since the games arrive in the post) on the PS2. Dont worry, I dont have homework these days.

My wrists hurt Mom. I deserve it, I know, but can you kiss it better?

Much loves from me.
xoxo

*Iman is my 10y-o youngest brother.

Early morning awakening

God no, its 5am in the morning. And here I am logging onto internet, doing nothing in particular. I was awake since half 3. And for that I call myself a freak.

My sleeping pattern changed alot since the end of Ramadan (fasting month). Sleeping more than ever. You'd be surprise to know that on average I sleep more than 10 hours (even on weekdays!) Surely it wont do any good to my revision program (yup I do have one but failing very terribly to stick to the program).

However after a general inquiry to most of my friends, some of them also experienced sleeping problem. My gay best friend mentioned that he is currently lacking in sleep (the general medicine placement is too taxing he said). Some other fell ill due to changes in weather lately. 

I think it the weather that wavers most hope we have inside of us. North west of the UK is notorious for that. This week has been an absolute nightmare. Some days it was pissing it down and some days it was sunny at 11am up to a point of boiling (of course in turtleneck and boots- who wouldnt- because it was initially wet and cold when I left my flat at 8am). You can bet that on the day that I forget to bring my brollies (umbrella) it will rain like hell. 

I can actually feel a Seasonal Affective Disorder creeping in. Tsk. 

I am noticably more quiet than usual (whatttt??) and prefer sleeping more than doing other thing. Some days I feel like snapping at people (esp one of my flatmates who behaves like a cow) and hospital is the only place I seek refuge from. Weird but true. In hospital with my team (in ward or clinic) I am still me. Generous, helpful and full with smiles. Out of hospital (even when walking toward the bloody bus stop- see Im doing it now), more often than not, I am a miserably person with very low energy level. 

At least I dont lose interest in thing I like doing. FYI, reading textbooks has never been in that category (category: thing I like doing). I still get excited over groceries shopping, watching and commenting on Xfactor and ANTM, and enjoying good food. 

Hope things will get better soon, p53.

Given above was an internal monologue of a final year medical student. Evaluate the situation (10marks).

My Sincerest Thank

I would like to express my sincerest thank to my BIGPROJECT Tutor, Dr Supervisor, for his guidance and support throughout this project.

Haa.. what the hell was that?
That was the acknowledgment bit of my written report. Which could only mean one thing- yeah I finished my report- hell yeah!

But that was what I wrote on the acknowledgment bit. Actually what I wanted to do was to write a heartfelt letter for him.

It should go like this:-



Dear Dr Supervisor,

Thanks for being my supervisor.
THANKS (with such intonation- like whatever).
But no, thanks really.

First, thanks for having me as your student.
I'm one hell of a problem. Sure you didn't know that when you agreed to be my supervisor. Have you ever feel like backing out from being my supervisor? I wonder.

Thanks for putting up with me when I argued about basically about everything especially at the beginning of the project.

And putting up with my English. Written and spoken.

Thanks so much for proofreading my written report so many times. Grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, syntax errors, presentation, formatting etc. Thanks supervisor. It was very helpful.

Thanks for allowing me to use your computer and printer. I printed so many things that I could have easily killed a tree myself.

It's amazing how our passwords are similar. I know, great minds think alike.

Thanks for fighting for/with me with the people downstairs. They are just lazy.

Right from the very beginning, it has always been a love and hate relationship between us.
You behave like Jekyll and Hyde, being nice and all then flipping quickly into something mean.
Its only fair as I behave like an unstable matter, being present at once and disappearing for the next (few?) days.

You was very demanding.
I told you, I was pretty laid back. So that's why I put down my feet when you asked me to do extra work.
All excuses about timing and logistics were purely lies. Sorry.
I have to live by my principle.

Sorry again for not telling you I went for a holiday. I just didn't want to make you feel sad to be left in rainy and soggy UK while I was enjoying myself in the sun. I guess it's ok now that you're going to some hot countries in the Middle East for holiday starting from tomorrow.

Sorry for the countless cursing that were direct or indirectly associated with you. I do curse. Like many others. When you saw smile on my face, half of the time I was thinking, it would be so nice if I could kill you. Sweet victory.

When you laughed at few things that I said or wrote, I thought, wow you have a very good English, but then when I thought again, your comments were not far from being pure sarcasm.

I wasn't bothered though. Which I guess must had been manifested clearly on my face. And yours turned red. Do you remember that? Ha.

Sorry. **silence for half a min here**

Sorry too for all the disappearing act that I had done in the last three months. The skill has somehow improved. hehe.

Do I enjoy working with you? I asked myself. Yes and no, yes on the good days, but no for the days that you almost killed me mentally.

Now let me ask you, do you enjoy working with me?

Will I do this again with you? No thanks.
Will I do a placement in cancer department again? Hmmm.. tough question.. I have always like cancer, but after doing this project I feel as if I don't want anything to do with oncology for the rest of my life. The bitter taste of my own medicine. Probably that was highly influenced by the fact that I had to do all the boring stuff. Reading case notes, doing statistics and writing report. These things weren't exactly patient centered. I do seriously miss patients' contact.

Why the hell that I chose you in the first place?
(come on readers are dying to know)
You're eccentric. As simple as that. I thought I'd rather work with someone eccentric than working with someone plain boring.
Eccentric in what way? That I cant really explain. Hardworking- crazy- funny- weird hybrid kind of person. Difficult to second guess. Difficult to get along with.

Extremely clever. Too clever even for some of my tricks. Tsk..tsk..tsk.

Cross my fingers that I'll be as clever but less as crazy as you.

Thanks now can you give me high mark please?
p53 xoxo

Abbreviations

F! PO!

Excuses

You guys know right how am I struggling to do my BIG PROJECT? Yeah, I'm still am. I find it very hard to concentrate on doing work and getting on with all the data processing. Yet I still have time to do everything else non-work related such as: singing, learning how to play guitar, going for dinners, BBQs, baking and volunteering.

Last Sunday, it came to realization that I ran out of excuses to give to my tutor already. Shit. Shit indeed. By that time I was shitting my pants thinking about what to say to him (as opposed to actually thinking of how to gradually doing my work) come Monday. So I stayed up all night, hell yeah, all night and Monday morning to alter of my poorly written article.

So, Monday morning, having not sleeping for God knows how many hours since Sunday, I went in all black eyes and rough. I presented to him my findings and whoop whoop...... my (crap) statistical analysis. He said well done. Yeehaa!

That's it. I'm done until at least next Wed.

For readers benefit, I'll write down excuses that I had given so far. Please do not use these excuses as they may not work for others (although ALL of them did work for me in a plausible way).

i) I'm unwell.
ii) I woke up late.
iii) I need to go down to BIG CITY.
iv) I've got a doctor appointment.
v) I'm volunteering.
vi) I haven't done that bit because I've been busy doing the other part.
vii) I want to re-write that section as I am NOT satisfy with what I had written down so far.
viii) I need to read few more papers before I can write the critical appraisal.
ix) I'm done with reading research papers that you suggested, but I haven't written down anything.
x) I don't know where to start.
xi) I need to read some statistics books before I can analyze the data, I haven't have a clue how to.
xii) I have a meeting with the statistician next week, until then I can't really analyze my data.
xiii) I had written them, but I haven't print them out.
xiv) I need to collect some more data.
xv) I forget that I promised you that I will meet you then. Sorrrrrrrryyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! I completely forgot!!!
xvi) After I read the guideline, I think I need to change few things.
xvii) I have not done the change I said I will. Erkk!!

a haiku

Muscles aching now
Falling apart I feel weak
But God, I'm so proud.

The story of the floating stool!

Dr P Aed was glad that her afternoon clinic had finished. She has long clinic list, possibly the longest of all (paediatricians in her hospital). Oh well, for the apparent 2 reasons I guess: i) her intense dedication for kiddies and ii) her being so nice to not say 'NO' to extra appointment.

She looked around her consultation room- toys scattered all over the floor and a messy table: used cups and a dictaphone [she has to dictate a couple more]. 'Later' she said as she headed to the clinic's WC.

As she entered the toilet cubicle she noticed lumps of stool bobbing in the toilet bowl. Gross, I know. Lightly colored, yellowish she said. Offensive smell. Yikes! Whoever used the toilet before her certainly need to learn his/her manner. Flushing isn't that difficult. This must be a case of an irresponsible being.

Gosh, what should she do now? She was completely innocent though, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. People will certainly think that she was the one who made up the mess. The next person will assume that as if its hers. No, surely that cant be right, 'I'm a respectable consultant' she said 'and I dont people to think otherwise'.

Flush- flush- flush!

NOOOOOO! She wailed quietly. The stool was still floating. She felt queasy, prick of sweat started to appear on her forehead. The more she focus on the stool, the more she felt as if the stool was looking at her, mocking! Dear God- what should she do now?

Let give it another couple of tries. Flush... not flushing! She almost given up hope then. FLUSHed for the last time.

[Camera panned from her view to about 10cm away to the toilet bowl] WHOOSH.... gurb..gurb..gurb...[in a slow mo version] the stool thankfully flushed away.

Dr P Aed couldnt believe that this is ever gonna happen to her. Disgusted but relief, she left the WC back to her consultation room.

AHA... She just remembered that it was actually the day of a CF clinic too. Classic!

****end of story****
this is half true, half made-up story. i'll let you decide which one is which.
INFOs: CF (Cystic Fibrosis) is a condition where there is a defect in the Na/Cl channels on the cell surface resulting in problem with digestion and respiration. The actual condition described in the story above is STETORRHOEA. Poor fat absorption in the intestine result in high fat content in stool, making it very difficult to flush and smell really awful [due to bacteria's action]. It is typical to have to flush it a LOT of time to clear it completely from the loo.

(Editor's Note trying to be the devil advocate, hehe: Imagine having to clean up the loos after a big, national level CF patients get-together! Let have a plumber on standby.)