Somehow during the course of my studies as a medical student so far, I've developed this very intense fear of VE in general. I'm mortified looking at one being done, let alone performing it myself. VE and anything related to it (e.g. low vaginal swab, PAP smear, coil insertion or removal etc etc etc). Horrendously terrifying for me.
This is, my friends, called a PHOBIA. A bit of obsessive thinking plus thought rumination. Now that the F&C (Family and Children) block's coming, I'm more anxious than ever. I've been avoiding it long enough (not choosing any Obs&Gynae for SSC, not staying in during smears in GP etc) so I decided to address this nagging problem by telling my tutor.
"You should be referred to the Mental Health Team" was one of those things she mentioned to me before I burst into tears, admitting this defeat and the need for a proactive action to help me with this fear. She tried to explore the fundamental reason(s) why am I so afraid of this VE. I can't put it down to any particular reason. And for that she said, possibly CBT is the best way forward. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy???? Whattheheck!
I agreed to try a desensitization with her, with her being a family planning expert GP. This consist of gradual exposure to visual and later tactile stimuli. Let's just hope I won't scream, or faint, or even die upon exposure to patients' nether region! (Editor's Note: She wont die, she had actually survived few already by now. She usually got nauseous during the VE and got sick though the next day).
That was almost a month ago. And I worry myself sick thinking and anticipating for these sessions. Now I've been to two sessions of Family Planning Clinic. Will (try to) describe my experience there in tomorrow's entry.
PS: How was the weekend, you guys? I had a fab time watching pantomime and visiting Xmas market in the BIG CITY!
PS: For those who has strong heart, click here. Content might be explicit/offensive for some. (Ed: for p53 it is absolutely terrifying!)
This is, my friends, called a PHOBIA. A bit of obsessive thinking plus thought rumination. Now that the F&C (Family and Children) block's coming, I'm more anxious than ever. I've been avoiding it long enough (not choosing any Obs&Gynae for SSC, not staying in during smears in GP etc) so I decided to address this nagging problem by telling my tutor.
"You should be referred to the Mental Health Team" was one of those things she mentioned to me before I burst into tears, admitting this defeat and the need for a proactive action to help me with this fear. She tried to explore the fundamental reason(s) why am I so afraid of this VE. I can't put it down to any particular reason. And for that she said, possibly CBT is the best way forward. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy???? Whattheheck!
I agreed to try a desensitization with her, with her being a family planning expert GP. This consist of gradual exposure to visual and later tactile stimuli. Let's just hope I won't scream, or faint, or even die upon exposure to patients' nether region! (Editor's Note: She wont die, she had actually survived few already by now. She usually got nauseous during the VE and got sick though the next day).
That was almost a month ago. And I worry myself sick thinking and anticipating for these sessions. Now I've been to two sessions of Family Planning Clinic. Will (try to) describe my experience there in tomorrow's entry.
PS: How was the weekend, you guys? I had a fab time watching pantomime and visiting Xmas market in the BIG CITY!
PS: For those who has strong heart, click here. Content might be explicit/offensive for some. (Ed: for p53 it is absolutely terrifying!)
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