Well, not a surprise isnt it?
Bum for almost everything. Medically esp.
Well anyways... lets talk about some patients I saw in the last two weeks. Confidentiality protected nevertheless.
i) Post coital bleeding in a 77 y-o lady [what?? WHATTTT??]
I struggled to keep a straight face while I was talking to this patient, who was appropriately seated next to her 70-ish husband. Not because I wanted to laugh (well knowing me anyway) but because I was shocked beyond words. I swear in normal unmedical situation, my jaw would probably hit the floor and my eyes would have bulge out of their sockets. Two-weeks referal nonetheless.
ii) Nocturnal enuresis in a 20 y-o young lady.
20 y-o kinda sweet and cute lil lady came to the surgery and started to blush during her opening sentence "I have been experiencing something very embarassing"... And I went "well we could only help you if we know whats been happening + everything that you say will remain confidential". So story was: 6-7x of nocturnal enuresis in the past 3/12. No frequency, no dysuria, no discharge. Dry at night when she was 12 (?late ?familial). Said that she's not in any stress, well, apart from BF now leaving to work with the Army. No hx of abuse (sexual/physical) and no other relevant hx. I sent off her urine sample to exclude UTI/glycosuria and requested a fasting blood glucose. To be reviewed in 2weeks time.
iii) An unfortunate girl who was given the Pills without first-pill-teach.
She is only 16, but honestly when she walked in she looks much older than me (so tall and much tad-too-much makeup on) so much so I had to ask her to confirm her full name, date of birth and address. So I gave her some adv re: the pills and printed out some patient information leaflets. Problem was: breakthrough bleeding whilst on the pills- which is a COMMON thing to happen.
iv) A dead body at a caretakers.
v) A 44 y-o lady with bilateral trocanteric bursitis.
Hx and O/E very typical of trocanteric bursitis. "Why bilateral?" asked my GP- and tbh I DONT KNOW. Very articulate lady. She explained everything without me asking, right down to characteristic and aggravating factors. Ha.
Ok, there are actually so much more interesting patients to write about, but as the title of this entry suggests, I cant be arsed.
Otherwise, pen off.
I'm gonna go and continue reading Breaking Dawn.
******Spoiler alert*****
Bella's pregnant with a vampire baby!
Freaking hell. How did that happen? Of coz I know how exactly it happened (Bella and Edward went for their honeymoon after the much awaited wedding and the birds and the bees bladibla...) but seriously in a real life* situation HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???
FYI- vampire has 25 chromosomes (well according to stephanie meyer anyway) and human has 23 chromosomes (scientifically- not some made-up number). Insemination and fertilization are just NOT possible.
And the baby is now making Bella very unwell and thirsty for BLOOD! Again... how is this possible???
Anyways... I still love Edward. Others can F-off.
*Editor's Note: p53 dont be daft, there will never be a real life situation for things like this.
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Ah the final book in the Bella/Edward saga. Frankly was disappointed in it. Will explain when you have read it all rather than potentially spoil it for you!
Once you're done you may be interested to know that on Meyer's website there is an unpublished version of the second one I think, written from point of view of Edward.
And, finally, she's also written a book called "The Host", which is brilliant!!!
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